


Yule Night

by darksquall



Series: Yuleboys [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-08
Updated: 2011-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 09:57:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darksquall/pseuds/darksquall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seifer Almasy has tickets to a charity dinner to celebrate Yule. His partner for the evening can't make it because of the snow, but he's surprised to find some familiar faces there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yule Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RaceUlfson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaceUlfson/gifts).



> Minor Rinoa bashing (sorry, I'll fix it in a subsequent fic). Written for Race Ulfson and Yule 2010, first of a set of 14 fics. Many thanks to her for the betaing and the inspiration.

It was the perfect winter's evening to curl up in front of the fire and pretend nothing else existed in the world.

Unfortunately for me, Rinoa Heartily was not the kind of girl who took no for an answer and she'd taken it upon herself to improve my social life. By improve, she meant force me into the kind of social life that she'd deemed fit for me to have. Although the winter weather was too bad for Rinoa to make it out of the house, she'd coaxed, charmed and downright bullied me into donning a tux and heading out into the cold night to a party with people I barely knew and didn't much like. All without my usual assistant and gossip shield. If I made it through the night without getting drunk, punching someone or getting drunk and punching someone, it would be a Hynebedamned Yule miracle.

The sky was that odd purple velvet it gets after a snowfall, making the street-lights seem that much more yellow in the peculiar semi-darkness. They spilled shifting pools of light across the blanket of white snow that had fallen along the street. The wind caught the fresh dusting occasionally, whipping it into the air as though it were dancing. Needless to say, I was freezing my ass off, shivering in the bitter evening air as the taxi picked its way carefully along the road.

I had been surprised to get a cab at all, especially given the weather, and half planned to use it as an excuse for skipping the party. I lived across the city – too far to walk and Hyne knew I shouldn’t be driving, considering how I was probably going to pass the evening. The promise of a good tip had left my wallet a little lighter but delivered me to the convention centre in plenty of time for the event. The driver had even promised to return later and haul my drunken ass back home.

I eyed the function building. The decorations were sparse outside, whether by design or accident given the weather. Softly glittering blue and white lights edged the hastily cleared pathway up to the entrance, the cool light somehow making the night feel that much colder.

As I crunched my merry way through the inches of snow to the cleared pathway, I was surprised to not I wasn't the only idiot to make it out on such a night. A steady trickle of people wandered towards the building, wrapped in winter coats to ward off the evening's chill. A casual acquaintance called, “Almasy!” and waved. I nodded an acknowledgement and sighed. Too late to turn back now- I'd been seen and my ride had disappeared into the darkness – so I trudged into the building.

The understated decoration continued in the entrance and reception room. The same soft lights glittered on the walls and a traditional tree, dusted with enough white to make it look as though it had just been brought in from outside, stood guard over the door to the waiting function room. It had been decorated in blue and silver, and the cliché perfectly wrapped presents with their huge immaculate bows positioned beneath it to add to the effect. Not too extravagant or gaudy, at least I wouldn't have to drink to forget the clashing colours.

Oddly, color scheme reminded me of Fujin. Maybe it wasn't so odd – she'd worn those colours so often – it felt like she was at my side rather than a few hundred miles away.

This was supposed to be happy ever after, I shouldn’t be wishing for long departed days. Fuu and Rai had moved on with their lives and so had I. Although, maybe I could invite them down next time there was such an event just to shake things up a little. Rinoa would never forgive me if we did, which wasn’t much of a deterrent.

“Take your coat, sir?” a voice offered, shaking me from melancholy thoughts.

Handing the jacket off to the girl – she couldn't be a day over sixteen, a tiny little thing with soft blue eyes and a mass of dark curls – I found myself smiling nostalgically. This was probably her first job, and she’d spend her wages on makeup and games. When I'd been her age, I'd already killed a couple of men. How times changed.

She offered me a small blue ticket in return and disappeared into the cloak room, leaving me to my thoughts again.

“Hyne,” I muttered under my breath. “A little more of this and I'll be turning into Leonhart. Now I'm talking to myself too.”

I dragged myself into the hall. The blue, white and silver theme had continued inside, but understatement was no longer a factor. The walls had been turned into an ice palace, blue lights twinkling from giant pretend icicles. The tables, most of which were now occupied – I really hadn't thought there'd be that many people who would be bothered to make it out – were covered in white table clothes and the silver chairs trimmed with fur. In each corner of the room a tree stood sentinel, each one decorated as the one out in reception had been.

Taking a seat on a quiet table, I nodded to a few others already seated there. They were vaguely familiar in the 'I've been dragged into conversation with you at parties before' kind of way, and didn't seem to mind me sitting with them. A helpful waitress dropped reserved cards on the two plates next to mine and I wheedled a warming brandy out of her.

Eventually, the lights in the hall dimmed just enough to call attention to the stage. Someone was standing at the lectern, tapping a glass with a knife to gather attention and quiet the patrons. She looked familiar, slim small and with copper brown hair that fell in loose waves over her shoulders. She was wearing a short white dress with matching fur boots and that smile, where did I know her from?

Then she opened her mouth and removed all doubt as to who she was.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, I just want to extend a thank you to everyone for coming out given the weather,” Selphie Tilmitt smiled her brightest smile and I wondered what the society reaction would be if I hid under the table. “Now I know you didn't come here to listen to us waffle on all evening, you came for a good meal, so I've told him not to get too wordy with you all, okay?”

A soft ripple of amusement rolled through some of the crowd. I took the opportunity to check out where the potential exits were in the event that I'd need them. It had been a long time since the war had ended, but for some people those who'd known the Sorceress' Knight, I was still very much a villain. I couldn’t expect forgiveness from Selphie, especially not given her time at Trabia garden before she'd transferred for her SeeD exams to Balamb. She'd lost friends because of me, and the actions that I performed under the guidance of my sorceress. No matter how that had happened, no matter what honeyed tones and poisoned promises had been used to coax my hand, at then end of the day it was my fault and my cross to bear.

“So, without further ado,” Selphie continued up on stage, “I give you our host for the evening, Mr Loire.”

Loire... why was that name so familiar as well?

I only had to wait a few heartbeats to find out. Of course – Loire. President Loire of Esthar. That was why it was familiar.

Just as that thought came to me, damn if Squall The Ice Princess Leonhart didn’t take up position at the podium to rather loud applause. I forced my mouth to close and looked him over. Squall had aged, and aged well at that. His figure was almost the same as it had been at garden all those years before, maybe a little taller, a little broader in the shoulders, and he certainly hadn't lost any of his head-turning pretty boy features. In fact the features were made so much prettier by the sheepish smile he wore. “I think I'm going to have to tell her to call me Squall at every single one of these functions.”

From the side of the stage, Selphie stuck her head out from behind the blue velvet curtains and stuck her tongue out in Squall's direction briefly before she disappeared again. Most of the audience at least chuckled, and even I had to smile at that one. She hadn't changed much -on the inside at least.

“It'll be five years since Selphie and I started this charity on New Year’s Eve. In that time, thanks to your generosity and others like you, we've managed to get a new state of the art facility built in Esthar, and three drop in centres in other major cities. In the next eighteen months we have plans to build a second school either here in Deling or in Timber to take in more orphans and children who need our assistance - thanks to the money you donated as part of your ticket for this evening.”

Another round of applause went up, leaving me all the more confused. What was this, some kind of SeeD plot? Leonhart had a charity? Voluntarily had Tilmitt as an assistant? Called himself Loire? Smiled in public?

Either that brandy had been a lot stronger than I first thought, or something needed to be explained and soon.

“Of course, that doesn't mean we won't be continuing the fund raising but I'll start nagging you about that in the new year.” Squall continued. “Thank you for coming, and most of all, I wish you all a happy Yule.”

I watched Squall depart the stage, noticing for the first time just how long the squirt's chocolate brown hair was. A ponytail snaked down between his shoulders. Add that to the list of weird things. Now I was going to have to hang around just to find out more about Squall and what the hell was going on.

The lights stayed at their low tone, and waitresses and waiters, dressed in the same blue and white uniform as the girl on the door had been, lit candles on the centre pieces on each table one by one. It wasn't until somewhere halfway through the starter that Squall appeared in the main doorway with Selphie hanging onto his arm. The women at my table gave an audible sigh and at least one of their husbands craned his neck to cast an approving glance at Squall. Selphie got her fair share of appreciative looks too, but it was Squall that I couldn't help watching. I snuck peeks at the pair as they meandered through the tables, greeting their patrons graciously and gratefully. Squall left most of the talking to Selphie but occasionally commented on something or other, smiling benevolently.

It was weird.

Eventually the two of them approached my table and Squall looked me straight in the eye. To his credit, he barely faltered. Maybe half a step and a look of surprise in his eyes for half a second – that was all the reaction Squall showed.

The two of them greeted the others seated at the table just as they had at every other stop, then, turning to me, Selphie put her hands on her hips and smirked. “I wondered who Rinoa's plus one was..., Damn Seifer. Have you been working out?”

While I was dealing with that surprise, Squall offered his hand to shake. I took it, noting the strength of Squall's fingers but a distinct lack of callouses. Maybe it wasn't a front for a SeeD mission after all. Even with the best leather gloves, the heavy weapons we favoured would leave witness marks on the hands of their owners. Squall hadn't used his blade in a good long time.

“Something like that. It's good to see you both,” I tried, a little surprised to note that it wasn't really a lie. I was glad to see them if they were glad to see me. They'd been my childhood playmates, my squad members – and did I have to mention the whole rival thing? More than ten years had passed since the last time I lifted a gunblade to Squall and even though it felt so childish, I still half wondered what it would be like to fight one last time.

Selphie pounced on me, hugging me around the neck and taking the opportunity to whisper into my ear “I heard what you did for Trabia. Thank you.”

She withdrew before I could mutter that I didn’t need thanks. It had been penance for the war. Squall took the seat next to me, moving the reserved card out of the place setting. Selphie took the other seat, and just when I was ready to ask if they were supposed to do that, a couple of the wait staff appeared as if by magic to serve their starters and drinks.

 

Dinner was uneventful but interesting. I managed to get a potential new contract sniffed out with one of the women seated at the table as soon as she heard that I was friends with Rinoa Heartily. Selphie was as funny as she'd been as a child, joking and sharing stories with Squall occasionally embellishing with a soft smile. They told me the charity was based in Esthar, and half of Selphie's stories involved the president – Squall's father.

When dinner was finished and it seemed a good time to make my escape, Squall glanced at me with that strange soft smile. “Drink?” he asked, gesturing toward the waiting bar.

Ahh – here it came. The moment we'd been waiting for. “Sure.” I followed Squall to the bar, barely resisting the urge to tug on his ponytail. Bad Seifer. No making things worse than they already were.

Squall leant against the bar first, nodding a greeting to the bar tender and ordering a double whiskey – on the rocks. I echoed the order and eyed Squall seriously for the first time in the pool of light around the bar.

He was older of course. The scar had paled into insignificance, much to my disappointment, but it wasn't the only one on his face any more. Another scar was just visible over one of his eyes, disappearing into his hairline. I would have missed it if Squall hadn't tucked his hair behind his ear at just the right moment. “Twelve years,” he said softly.

“Feels like only yesterday,” I shrugged. “So is this when we throw down? Got a white glove to slap me with?”

“Love to, can't,” he half shrugged and sipped his drink nonchalantly, but I still remembered what clues to look for. Squall was checking me out just as much as he was being checked out.

He still had those ridiculously long lashes. He'd lost some of the bulk his blade had given him but he was still just as attractive as he'd ever been, and still just as pale. “Can't?” I prompted, trying to remember if I’d ever heard Squall use that word before.

Squall lifted one hand to wave away the question. “Later. You look good. I thought Rin was kidding about that.”

So Rinoa was still in contact with Squall despite the only time I'd ever asked her about Squall producing a coldness that Shiva herself would be proud of? And she found cause to comment on me?

I gave Squall one of best smirks. “Didn't know Rin talked about me behind my back.”

“Once or twice, she occasionally helps with the fund raising here in Deling.”

“She never told me how the two of you split up.”

That got more of a reaction than I’d had ever seen from Squall in one fell swoop. He scowled into his glass, hunched his shoulders and looked anywhere but at me. “It was a mutually beneficial decision. We don't really talk except in email where we can be painfully civil to each other.”

Interest piqued, I gestured to the bartender for the same again. Never let it be said I allowed a sleeping dog to lie. “So what happened?”

“She's your friend,” Squall finished his drink and cast a glance over the room. The music started to flood out of the speakers and some of the more merry participants were already beginning to head for the dance floor. “You should speak to her, we shouldn't talk about her behind her back.”

Swapping Squall's empty glass for another, I smiled. “If I promise not to tell her, would that make a difference?”

Squall rubbed his forehead and sighed. “She cheated on me while I was on a deep cover SeeD mission. I didn't find out 'til the day we were supposed to get married – I should have given her more attention but...” Squall sighed and shook his head. “Forget I said anything.”

Ok, so I’m an asshole for poking that particular hornets’ nest. Obviously Squall was hurt and he wasn't over it. Proving I’d changed, grown up, I let it drop.

“Mind if we sit back down?” Squall asked, returning his attention to my good self now that line of discussion was closed. His eyes were just as deep a blue grey as ever and the gaze just as determined. It took me a moment to notice the drink in Squall's hand was trembling. That was downright weird.

“Sure..., look Squall, are you okay? I can leave if you want.”

Squall's eyes widened in confusion for a moment, and he followed my gaze. The scowl returned in full force “I'm not scared of you, Almasy. It's been a long busy day and I'm tired.”

I shrugged and headed back to the table. Thing were still firmly rooted in weird and I still had more questions than answers. Fortunately most of the table had deserted us for the dance floor and as soon as we sat down, Squall turned to face him properly.

“So what's with all the smiling?” I asked, attempting to make light of the situation.

“People like giving money to people who smile,” Squall shrugged, giving me a little smirk of his own. “To tell you the truth, it just makes my face hurt.”

I chuckled and was just about to respond when Selphie appeared at his side. “No fair hogging the big buff blond, Squally,” she chuckled and grabbed my arm. “Time to share your toys. Seifey. You. Me. Dance. Now.”

“I don't dance,” I attempted to protest but Selphie had a death grip on my arm and since I wanted to keep that limb, I let her pull me out of my seat and toward the dance floor.

“Don't be a spoilsport or I'll make you dance with Mrs Waters next. She treads on toes and tonight she has stilettos on.”

“It's easier to do as she says Seifer,” Squall lifted his glass in a toast, still smirking knowingly. I surrendered to my fate.

 

 

Dancing with Selphie turned out to be … informative.

I'd started to wonder if they were a couple, watching the way Selphie touched Squall when she talked with him, gave him the odd tiny peck on the cheek and really just about screamed 'mine, don't touch' with her body language around him. She laughed at the idea and reassured me that she was married, she only did that to keep all but the most determined of socialites off of him and Squall very definitely had a type and she wasn't it.

“In fact,” she'd said with a knowing little smile, “you're much closer to it than I am.”

She'd refused to say anything more on the subject and eventually released me from her evil clutches. I was about to head back to Squall when I realised he was no longer sitting at the table. I must have looked disappointed because she tapped me on the shoulder again and told me to try outside.

Dutifully, I braved the bitter cold of the evening and found the man of the hour just outside the front entrance, leaning against the wall. I was about to ask what he was doing when he cupped his hands in front of his face, and a flame from a lighter sprang up to lick at the end of a cigarette Squall held between his lips.

He caught me watching as he tucked the lighter back into some unseen pocket of his jacket and exhaled slowly, the cigarette smoke curling off into the soft darkness of the snowy night. “If you have any comments, make them fast.”

“I'm just waiting for the next weird thing to rock my world. Squall the iceberg Leonhart smiles in public, drinks, smiles in public, doesn't go by his real name, smiles in public and now he smokes,” I grinned, bracing one foot against the wall next to him and leant against it. “Did I mention the whole smiling in public thing?”

I don't think I'd actually heard Squall laugh in twenty years or so. Never at garden where he'd been the perfect little ice prince to match his favourite goddess. Never in those last few lonely years at the orphanage as we'd been the last of the children left, the ones not adopted. Never quite understood that. Squall was a cute kid, I guess the serious vibe put people off. “I've changed more than you realise,” Squall took a long drag from his cigarette and exhaled slowly. His hand was still trembling a little every time he lifted it to his mouth.

“Probably. So, do I get to know more about this 'can't' thing, yet?”

He gave a heavy sigh – weight of the world on his shoulders again. He took another long drag and just when I was starting to believe I wouldn't get an answer he frowned up at the night sky. “Motorbike accident. Nearly six years ago now. I was on vacation in southern Galbadia and a drunk driver knocked me off the damn thing,” he paused long enough to drag a hand through his hair. It was killing him to look at me. “They didn't know who I was and they kept me in a coma for three weeks. By the time I woke up it was too late for most of the range of magical healing, and I was left with reduced movement in some of my joints. My left shoulder's too weak to maul a gunblade around any more.”

I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't fair? That I was sorry? Everything seemed so hollow. Besides I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't care that much. Regretted it, sure. No matter what, Squall would bitch and moan and flail until he was sure he'd done his best, then shrug and accept it. Hell, I'd heard enough about his exploits in the war to know he'd try his best to fix whatever was broken, then deal with it and move on. Which was how he'd wound up SeeD Commander while Cid ran off with his tail between his legs. “Left you with the shakes? Or is that just because it's colder than Shiva's cleavage out here?”

“I get tired easier, the more tired I get the worse my hands are. Especially after a long day – been up since five am, the weather didn't help and there was a lot of prep to do. Usually I'd grab some sleep before the event but we had to spend so much time changing the set up to deal with the snow,” he gestured carelessly with the hand that held the cigarette at the blanket of white that had covered most of the street. “Too far to get back to the hotel for some rest anyway in this weather.”

“Where are you staying?”

“The Heights, on Main Street.”

That wasn't that far from my apartment. Maybe a couple of blocks at most. “I live in one of the apartment buildings just a little way down from that – maybe we can share a cab back later?” I offered. I'd been forgiven by some miracle and it had been so long since I'd spent any time with my childhood companions that I was almost desperate to keep it going. Not that I had much other companionship these days aside from work and Rinoa. I wasn't sure why I had been forgiven anyway and I was a little curious.

He gave me one of his faint, real smiles and nodded. “Sure. Need to stay until the end, though.”

“I have a cab coming for me at eleven-thirty.”

“Perfect.”

“For what it's worth, that was a shitty hand you got dealt,” I offered, rubbing my arms. At first the buzz from the booze and the dancing had kept me warm but that was fading now, leaving me shivering in the cold night air. I wondered if Squall had Shiva junctioned to be out here so long. Usually I could tell – but right now I was thrown for a loop and I couldn't tell anything for certain about Squall or his abilities. After all, he looked pretty good as long as you couldn't see his hands shaking; I'd barely even noticed any weakness. It made me want to find out just how much he had changed – even if it meant sparring.

He looked bemused, grinding the cigarette out on the wall and flicking it into the trash can beside the door. “Anyone else would probably say some shit like 'I'm sorry', you know.”

Oh I knew. Of course I knew, and I didn't answer him just yet. I also knew from Squall’s expression that he was just muddling through some things in that pretty little head of his and whatever he was saying was probably thinking out loud.

“Thanks,” he gave me one of those beautiful little smiles at last. With a gesture to the door he suggested “We should go in, before we freeze to death out here.”

So Squall didn't have Shiva junctioned after all. That was interesting. Still hadn't given up on doing dumbshit stuff out in the cold when he should probably have known better though. “Thank Hyne, I thought I'd have to drag you in with a pair of tongs and chip icicles off your ass.”

“Oh no, I have much more entertaining ways that you can use to warm me up,” he smirked and gave me a look that was smoking hot, slid his hand along my arm as he sidestepped me and slunk off to the door. Only Leonhart could slink through snow and ice. Pretty much anyone else would break their neck.

Wait just one minute. Hypothermia had to be setting in because I was half sure Squall Leonhart had just flirted with me. The ice princess. Untouchable, aloof, colder than ice Squall 'Shiva's bitch' Leonhart. I steeled myself, caught him up and slipped an arm around his waist as we got to the door. “How about we start small?”

He looked at me sideways, looking decidedly smug. “Always good to share body heat, in this weather,” he practically purred and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Danger.

Damn good thing I liked a little danger from time to time.

Whatever it was, I hadn't been imagining it. It hadn't been a hallucination. For once in my life, I really was speechless. I kept that arm around his waist, letting him lean against me either for support or just because he was that damn cold as we walked back inside. The longer he leant against me, the more I could feel about him. He was still trembling even if he was doing his best to hide it from me. Some of it was the temperature outside, but that faded reasonably quickly, leaving me to notice just how tense he was. His muscles must have been aching something rotten if he was like that all the time. It also made me want to declare the party over and take Squall back to his hotel room there and then so the guy could get some rest.

When we were nearly to the table, Squall lifted his head to give me this soft little pout and the faintest hint of a flirty look. “Could you get me another drink?” he asked.

Way back when I'd tried pretending to be even the slightest bit straight, I'd seen more than one girl try to pick me up in that fashion. Squall's eye lashes were longer than most girls fake lashes were. Who needed lipstick when you had that perfect little mouth and could do puppy dog eyes that would stop an oncoming Doomtrain. The bar was free anyway – included in our ticket price I guess – and it wasn't like I didn't owe him a few drinks for the crap I'd put him through.

He still had the most beautiful eyes.

So maybe I was a little infatuated with the whole idea of Squall flirting with me. Or just Squall in general, who knew anymore? I was a little buzzed, a lot intrigued and already on the back foot trying to recover from the one two Squall had just pulled on me. This was almost as much fun as sparring. “Sure,” I said, proving to both of us that I was a bigger walkover than ever before and I might as well just hold out my wrists for the cuffs now since I was so damn beat. “Same again?”

“Sounds perfect,” Squall took the same seat he'd been perched on for most of the evening and I headed for bar. I was not crushing on Squall Leonhart after all these years. I was not going to do something ridiculous and dumb and let myself be attracted to Squall for more than a fleeting moment. Even if he did look incredible in a suit.

Damn, I had yet to tease him about the long hair. I was getting soft in my old age.

 

 

For the rest of the night, I stayed by his side. Some of the other patrons came over to visit with him while I played body guard out of some overblown sense of purpose or duty. Maybe even something about him being the closest thing I had to a little brother or an equal. Whatever it was, I didn't leave him except to top up our drinks and hit the bathroom all night.

The hours of nine, ten and eleven all rolled past unremarked. It was Squall who noticed that it was almost eleven thirty and time for us to leave. The party was still in full swing however and I feared for a moment that I was going to have to leave him behind.

Squall waved my concerns away and told me to go and get my coat, and while I was at it to ask the coat check girl to get his ready too. Then he disappeared into the crowd to find Selphie. By the time I was pulling my gloves on, he reappeared to collect his coat. “Selphie'll kick them out in a while.”

“You don't need to wait for her?” I asked. Not that I wanted Squall to stay behind but hell, he had to work with her when he went back wherever they worked.

“No, it's fine,” he struggled to pull the coat on – the first evidence of his injury aside from the shaking hands and I was too dumb struck to help him until it was too late anyway. “She's getting the four-thirty train back to Esthar – she'd have stayed up all night to sleep on the trip. Anyway, she likes to party.”

“You don't?” I asked, steering him outside to the waiting cab. Squall’s coat matched the suit – white, a military style cut that suited his narrow waist and broad shoulders. Three quarter length and made from soft white wool with silver buttons, it looked warm, comfortable and made him look that much more like a ghost. He needed a stronger colour. Maybe some dark red or slate grey. Anything that would make him look less faded and ethereal.

“Up to a point. Passed that point a couple of hours ago, now I'm just cranky.”

The way he pouted as he said it made me laugh in spite of myself. For a moment I could have been twenty or so years back, steering the pain in the ass back in for dinner at the orphanage. “Get in the damn cab,” I ordered as I opened the door for him. He did as he was told. He was either used to being ordered around or he was too tired and possibly too drunk to fight me then and there. I suspected it was the second.

He scooted across the back seat without me prompting him. I'd planned on walking around the car to get in the other side but so much for that idea. I climbed in after him and fumbled my seatbelt into place.

“Same place, man?” the cab driver looked back at me in the mirror.

“Yeah, and can you drop this guy off at The Heights after?”

“Sure, they cleared the main road up there, nice an' easy,” he said in his thick Galbadian drawl and pulled away from the side of the road. Apparently the memory of the large tip was still fresh in his mind, I don't think I'd ever had a cabbie be so nice to me before.

When I looked at Squall, he was leaning back in the seat with his eyes closed. I almost thought he was asleep but his breathing was too uneven for that. I watched him as the cab picked its way through the snow covered streets until he finally opened his eyes just barely enough to glare at me. “Why are you staring at me?”

“I'm trying to work out if I like the long hair or not,” I said. Some of his hair had come loose, falling to frame his face. His bangs were still almost the same as they'd been back when I'd last seen him, long dark strands falling in front of his eyes and a sweep of hair pulled back behind his ear. I half remembered seeing some old picture of President Loire at some point too – he had long hair. Maybe he was trying to be like his dad. “Also trying to work out if he should drop you off first so I can be sure you won't fall asleep.”

“You said it wasn't far, I'm sure I can manage a little longer,” Squall gave me one of his half smiles and turned his head. “Here, take it out, see what you think when it's all down.”

I reached up, taking hold of the little hair tie – even that was white – and pulled it out slowly. It was oddly intimate. Probably the most intimate way that I'd ever touched him in fact and, as I pressed the elastic into his hand, he tossed his head just enough to have the long chocolate strands slide back over his shoulder and out of the way. I'd thought it would be shorter than it turned out to be, stopping about level with the bottom of his shoulder blades. “Is this revenge for all those years of me telling you to get a haircut?” I asked, curling my fingers in a lock of hair that had caught on his shoulder.

He chuckled softly and shook his head, not enough to pull that lock out of my fingers though. “It just kind of... happened. I left it to grow out after the accident to cover a scar on my neck and it got a little long. I'll be getting it shortened in a couple of weeks, just up to my shoulders.”

“Scars a problem in the charity business?”

“No, I just didn't like the reminder – I got it in the accident, the others I don't mind at all. I think I earned them somehow,” Squall paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. He lifted a hand to his neck, under his hair – checking the scar I guess. “The kids like the scars. Especially the ones who have scars of their own, Maybe I'm proving that there's a life after the crappy childhood.”

I couldn't stop playing with that strand of hair. “It wasn't so bad, I guess. At least we had three square meals of fried tyres a day and a place to sleep.”

“I know. The kids I deal with now have it a lot worse. The patrons think the scars make me look vulnerable, apparently,” he rolled his eyes and sighed. “The whole thing about girls liking scars is true.”

“I think you're supposed to phrase it 'Chicks dig scars'. Yeah, they totally want you for the scars, it's nothing at all to do with you being a pretty boy,” I smirked at him and finally let the hair slip from my fingers. We were getting close to my place already, the roads were a damn sight better than they'd been on the way to the party. Your tax gil at work, at least the city knew what a damn snow plough was.

“If you think I'm so pretty, am I going to get your number or not?”

I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me. The earlier flirty comments had had me reeling and now asking for my number? This was shy, quiet, retiring little Squall who never even looked at anyone long enough to figure out what sex they were, let alone if he'd like to have sex with them. What had happened in the twelve years I'd missed?”

Recovering as quickly as I could, I fished one of my business cards out of my pocket and held it out to him with two fingers. “My mobile number is on there. Where are you living these days?”

“Esthar. Unfortunately I head back tomorrow evening.”

“Maybe next time?” I suggested, experiencing the oddest combination of relief and disappointment I'd ever felt. Relieved to have time to go away and think about a Squall that flirted openly with me, that smiled and laughed – and how much of that was down to the not insubstantial amount he'd drunk? Was it just me? Did he flirt with everyone like that? Did I care if he did? “Would be nice to catch up somewhere I can hear you without yelling over the music.”

“I'd like that,” he said, smiling softly as the cab pulled up outside my place. I fished out enough gil to pay our fare, a little extra to get Squall back and give the guy another decent tip besides but Squall caught my arm. “You don't have to pay for me, Seifer.”

Hearing my name on his lips still felt weird. I wasn't Almasy any more, I was Seifer. I was a different person and him changing the name he called me made me feel like he understood that and appreciated it. I gave him my best sheepish smile and eased out of his grip gently to pay the man. “It's okay, Squall. You can get the next one.”

Before he could argue, I opened the door and slipped out. He watched me, looking thoughtful. Just as I was shutting the door, I heard him promise “I'll call you.”

I watched the taxi pull away from the kerb, his pale face visible through the rear window until the first few flakes of snow began to fall again and they pulled out onto main street. So much for that. He'd probably forget all about me as soon as he rejunctioned.

 

 

I didn't expect him to answer when I called.

“Hello?”

“It's me,” I said.

“Squall? Hey, did you make it back home already?” Seifer asked. I could hear voices in the background, too indistinct to tell whether they were male, or female or even if they were real people and not the television or radio.

“Not quite yet,” I answered. I was still in my hotel room, looking out at the snow falling over the quiet city. Worst winter Galbadia had seen in years and it just happened to be the one weekend I was there that it hit. I was half wondering if Shiva was punishing me for leaving her behind. I'd just come back from the train station, where I was told categorically that there was no way I'd be getting back to Esthar for at least a couple of days, possibly longer. “So, what are you doing for Yule night?”

“Entertaining the idea of a frozen meal and the bottle of scotch my secretary gave me for the season.”

I knew he'd be sprawled out somewhere. I'd be surprised if he hadn't already opened the bottle at least, he sounded very relaxed, for him.

“Would you care to join me for dinner?”

“What?” Seifer was suddenly sounding a lot less relaxed. I was amused at how rapidly he'd changed – I'd almost think he was scared of me. Or straight, but I knew from Rinoa's casual comments that wasn't the case. “I thought you were going home today?”

“I'm afraid not – they stopped the trains crossing the FH bridge at two. It was too dangerous to make it, and the points were starting to freeze. So, no trains for me,” I sat on the edge of the bed. The flakes were coming down thick and fast and I was more and more sure by the minute that I was going to be stuck out here for more than the two days they'd estimated. “If you're spending tonight or tomorrow with someone though, I won't be offended.”

“No, it was just going to be me... You want me to come to you, or would you rather come here?”

“It's your choice – the hotel's doing the traditional meal thing this evening but if that's too public for you I can come there and spend the evening with you,” I offered.

“I'll come to you – then I don't have to try and clear up my mess here.”

Seifer didn't do mess. I remembered his room back at Garden. It had been even neater than my own room and considering I'd had hardly anything to my name, that was really saying something. At least he wasn't trying to avoid me, but I understood about him not wanting to share his home, his safe space, with me just yet. A hotel room was much less personal. Neutral ground for both of us. “No matter how I say this it will sound like I'm propositioning you so fuck it. Bring something to sleep in and a change of clothes, it's really coming down out there, I'm not sure how easy it'll be for you to get home tonight.”

“So you aren't propositioning me?” he sounded amused.

“I have to save something until you're here and making you blush seems like a quick way of warming you up.”

He chuckled. “Okay. What room number are you?”

“Two zero eight.”

“Two zero eight,” he repeated absently. “Okay, I should get going before I have to tunnel my way there. I'll see you in about an hour?”

“Sure. Be safe, Seifer. It's a lousy night out there.”

 

 

He turned up in exactly one hour, wrapped up for a Trabian winter. Seifer hated to be cold as much as I hated to be too warm. His coat was soaked through thanks to the snow and he was shivering so I ushered him in, took the overnight bag from him and shut the door. I'd already ordered coffee and had it delivered. No matter what hotel I went to whether it was the cheapest available or the best in town, nowhere had a decent coffee maker on hand in their rooms. I pointed him at the room service trolley. “Coffee. Let me get a towel.”

As I set the bag down out of the way, I caught him watching me. “You look better today,” Seifer said thoughtfully, then turned to pour himself a cup of coffee.

I bought a warmed towel to him, tossing it over his head after he'd taken his first sip of coffee. “I feel better. I didn't even get up until ten, much gentler day today.”

Seifer caught me by my belt loop to make me stay close until he could set the coffee cup aside and move the towel to rest on his shoulders. Then I was caught in his green eyed gaze and struggling to figure out why I'd wanted to pull away in the first place. When I slept with men I had specific types I looked for. I like muscular guys – the bigger the better. And not for the first time I was noting that Seifer had that box well and truly ticked. He was wearing a black polo neck sweater and it fit him well, showing off a physique that definitely had me interested. I wasn't sure if he trained with his gunblade any more, but he was definitely doing something right.

The other boxes were pretty easy to tick too. I liked fair haired guys more often than not. Granted he was a little brighter than I usually bought home for a fling but it was Seifer Almasy. I was in this for the challenge now. “Tell me honestly now no one's around to pry. How bad is it?”

“The injuries?” I asked, and he nodded. It was hard to explain. Life changing was how the doctors had described it but for understandable reasons that was a turn of phrase that alarmed some people. The progress had been good. I would more than likely live a long and happy life as long as nothing else happened. Although, no one with injuries like mine made a full recovery, the magic had improved my chances immensely, limited the worst of the lasting damage and may even have left me perfectly capable of running off into the field with a new weapon and getting myself killed if I saw fit. I just had... a few holes that I didn't know how to fill. I found it hard to connect things. How was I supposed to explain that to my former rival though? “I'm okay. There are good days and bad days, but right now the good outnumber the bad.”

“Does that mean it might change in the future?”

It was rare that I'd actually see Seifer Almasy worried. I was touched that he'd be so concerned about me. “Nothing is certain Seifer. There shouldn't be all that much change, I'm just not going to be duelling any time soon. If at all.”

“Which shoulder is it?” his eyes shifted down my body. I shrugged my damaged shoulder and he slid his hand over it lightly. There were scars that he'd feel through my thin shirt and I could tell by his expression the moment that he did. “Hyne.”

“I had a plate put in. Rods in my left leg. At least my head healed on its own,” I smiled, trying to remind him that despite it all I was fine and worrying about me wasn't going to achieve anything.

His hand moved to rest on my waist and I figured it was about time that I got to touch him in return. I ran my hand – on the injured side as it happened – over his chest lightly. His muscles were hard but I was more concerned with how damp the black sweater felt.

“You're cold,” I said. He must have been freezing, even the first touch of my hand chilled my fingers to the bone.

“I'll warm up soon enough.”

“Let me help with that,” I said. Then I leant up slowly enough for him to stop me if he needed to, and kissed him gently. As soon as I did, he made a soft little sound of surrender, wrapped both arms around me tightly and kissed me so deeply that I could barely believe it. Hungry, longing, needy... I'd never actually felt dizzy from just one kiss before but Hyne his was incredible. When he finally gave me a moment to breathe I had to lean against him for support.

“This is poor timing,” I said breathlessly. “I have to ask though. You are single, right?”

He laughed, still holding me tight around my waist. I think he was scared to hold me any higher, for fear of hurting me. That's how much Seifer had changed in twelve years or so. “I'm single. Painfully dramatically single,” he paused. He didn't want to know but he really had to ask me. “Are you?”

“I am,” I nodded. I had my specific types that I preferred and I'd had a few brief relationships. Been almost serious a few times too but I didn't really do relationships. I still didn't like letting people get too close. I much preferred casual flings and the odd one night stand. I was sure my father's entourage despaired over me, but I was enjoying my life and their eye rolls and snarky comments when they thought I couldn't hear didn't matter to me. Besides, what were my liaisons to them? I kept them low key, all the stories that might ever come out would just say I liked sex. I was already out as bisexual, so what.

Seifer brushed his fingers up and down what he could of my spine slowly. “I'm afraid I might hurt you.”

“Just don't hold my arm over my head and I'll be fine,” I knew he was treating me like cut glass but I was me. I was Squall Leonhart and he had to remember that.

So I took it upon myself to remind him.

I hooked my better arm around his neck for balance and kissed him again. My turn to take the lead. I kissed him hard, slid my other hand into the back pocket of his pants and forced him to press the full length of his body to mine. All I had to do was roll my hips a little to have him practically whimpering for me. I knew it had worked when he dragged me to the bed and pulled me down onto it with him.

The only problem with that black turtleneck I'd been appreciating so much a few minutes before was that I had to stop kissing Seifer while it was removed. When it was removed however – along with the thermal shirt underneath – I could run my hands over Seifer's skin freely and watch him shiver. I really liked watching him shiver.

I'm not sure if it was the cold or the excitement that had him fumbling with my buttons more than actually managing to open them, but I didn't mind waiting a while for him to finally manage to unfasten them all. It meant I could keep kissing him, and distracting him. Much more fun for me. When the shirt was finally open, he popped the button on my pants and slid his hands over my bare stomach, almost like he was worshipping me.

“I want to see the scars,” he said, finally breaking the kiss enough to look me in the eye. He was so serious and so determined, what was I going to say? No? As if. I liked his serious and determined look.

“From the crash or from everything?” I asked, pulling my shirt off and tossing it to the side of the bed. He'd gotten off a lot lighter than me in the war by the looks of things – there were a few marks from my blade here and there, and a few other witness marks for the various battles we'd fought.

Of course, for me, the most obvious scar was the one from the icicle that had thrown me from the parade float. I should have warned him about that, I watched his eyes go wide for a second when he saw it. The worst of my scars and the one that had come closest to killing me, even compared to the crash. “She did that one,” he murmured, brushing his fingers over the thick skin and it was my turn to shiver. Usually I didn't like people touching that one but I could forgive it for Seifer. “I barely remember it but, it was her, right?”

“On the parade float.”

He lifted his head to look at me. His hair was still short but longer than it had been in his days at garden. He actually had bangs now, instead of that ridiculous little tuft of hair that never behaved enough for him to slick it back, and they hung in front of his very green eyes. “You never asked about the war last night.”

The way he said it made it seem like he'd only just realised. I could feel him tense up on top of me, he shrank back the tiniest bit and for a moment I'd almost swear he flinched. I'd always wondered how he'd found a way to deal with the war, and here in front of me all the evidence was saying that he hadn't found a way at all. “It was a long time ago,” I said, brushing my fingers over his cheek lightly. I had to make him stop thinking and second guessing himself – he was starting to sound like I once had. “We can talk it over later. If you want to.”

“I don't want to,” he shook his head.

So I gave him something better to think about. I slid my hand under the waistband of his pants to wrap my fingers around his cock and stroke him slowly. He was already half hard and it really didn't take much to have him panting and moaning for more. Now I'd gotten his attention, he was a lot more cooperative. All it took was a purred command to have him removing his pants.

I should have tried this years ago. Much easier and warmer than dragging him outside for a duel and more fun too. All I had to do was rub my thumb on the tip of his cock to have him willing to do just about anything for me. Must have been a while since he got laid and Hyne that was a tragedy.

Fortunately it was one I was more than willing to remedy. “On your back, under the covers.”

He followed that order too, giving me enough time to grab supplies and finish stripping myself. It put my back to him for a minute. Long enough for him to see the scars on my shoulder. I hadn't even thought of that until I felt his cool fingertips trace one of the ragged marks on my shoulder. I was used to a morbid fascination with the old evidence of the wounds I'd received when I took people to bed but never like this. Never so cautious, so quiet, and never so welcomed by me. Maybe it was because it was Seifer's fingertips tracing the healed wounds, maybe it was because – directly or indirectly – he was responsible for so many of them. I wanted him to keep his hands on me.

“Been about twenty years since we shared a bed,” he said as I slid between the sheets. “This is kinda weird.”

I agreed completely. It was very weird and not only to be naked in bed with a man I'd known since we were very small children, nor the man I'd fought against in the war. It was just as weird to be fulfilling a few horny teenage fantasies after so long. However my baser desires were outweighing many worries about 'weird' that I had. I curled up against him, pressing the full length of my body to his, bare skin t bare skin for the first time.

“I can get over weird,” he stated without any prompting from me and finally slid his hands over my ass, grinding his hard cock against my thigh.

“Good, I was hoping you'd get the idea,” I pulled one of his hands to me, folding the bottle of lube in it to see if he could keep track. I kept hold of the condom though.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked, surprised. I had my reasons, not that he'd understand just yet. I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't fragile. I needed him to accept that he wasn't going to hurt me by giving me what I wanted and asked for. “are you...”

I cut him off with a kiss. “I'm going to ride you.”

“Can your leg take that?”

Okay, that was enough. I pushed Seifer onto his back and straddled his hips. “Too afraid? Should I do it myself?” I asked, running my hands over his chest and rolling my hips against his. He took a shuddering breath and shook his head before finally uncapping the bottle, slicking his fingers and pulling me just far enough forward to do what asked of him.

The first finger that slid into me was still cold even though the rest of him was warming up nicely. There was a trick to this and it was becoming more apparent that I needed to use it. I had to stop Seifer thinking. So, rolling my hips to meet the all too cautious thrust of his fingers I leant over him to kiss him hungrily, exploring his mouth with my tongue. Little by little, the hesitation I got in return subsided, the passion that I'd found in that first kiss we'd shared was returning in spades, and it wasn't long before there were three fingers fucking me roughly and his free hand was tight in my hair.

I could have let him make me come just like that but I wanted more. Even so it took all my strength to break the kiss and gasp “wait.”

He stopped, confused for a moment but as I sat up again slowly, he got the picture and let me move where I wanted to be. I tore open the condom packet with my teeth and pulled it out, noting his curiosity. “Condom?”

“I'm definitely not a virgin, and I'm unjunctioned. Is that a problem?”

“I can almost hear the old SeeD films now,” he chuckled.

“If you're going to be stupid, for Hyne's sake use protection,” I paraphrased. In my time as command I'd had to view those instructional videos an alarming amount of times. Not even years of GF use and a brain injury had taken those lines away from me.

“Squall, right now I'd dress as a moogle if you told me to,” he said. Seifer Almasy – a man who would use one word when a paragraph was needed and a whole sentence when he could have just said yes. I wasn't about to give him time to change his mind. I rolled the condom onto him carefully, positioned myself above him and let him guide his cock into me as I pressed back onto him.

I might have groaned aloud. I might have moaned his name. I definitely liked it.

There was no real epiphany when I finally had him inside me, he just felt damn good. As soon as I started to ride him, a few cautious thrusts to gauge his reaction as much as get myself used to it, he braced his hands on my waist and helped me to move. It felt good. Better than good and better by the second as I moved on him as hard as I could.

“Holy Hyne, Squall,” Seifer's voice was husky and breathless. I wanted to hear that over and over – I enjoyed it a lot more than I deemed healthy.

As much as I liked hearing his voice there was something more important I wanted from those lips. I leant down to kiss him as I moved faster, fucking him eagerly. He rolled his hips to help me, every thrust feeling like it was going to split me in two as our movements became ever more desperate. I lost count of the times I kissed him.

Then I lost myself. It was intense, mindless sex and he barely had to stroke my cock to make me come. I was distantly aware of him calling my name as he came inside me and I slumped down onto him to catch my breath.

We lay there for a while, me tangled up in Seifer's arms with my head pillowed on his shoulder. I liked being held by him, even if he found it really hard to keep his hands still. At least one always had to be moving on my back, or stroking my hair. It was as if he was reassuring himself that I was there by continually touching me. Eventually it was him that broke whatever spell had been cast on us by good sex when his stomach growled and reminded me that I was supposed to be feeding him.

“I'll call room service,” I said, sitting up, sliding off him and stretching. He looked embarrassed – either that I'd heard or that I'd still been on him in those long minutes that we'd spent half dozing in the aftermath of our pleasure. “Wine with dinner? Or coffee?”

“Wine, I think I need a drink to steady my nerves,” he said, obviously attempting a joke.

“In that case, I have something for you.”

Seifer gave me a confused look as I crawled off the bed to fetch his birthday gift. Thank Hyne Selphie had reminded me while I'd been out looking for my father's Yule present, I'd gotten a spare that I'd hoped to leave with Seifer on my way to the station. A little something to remember me by. I set the suitably festive gift bag beside him on the bed and perched on the edge to call room service.

Midway through ordering our dinner, a pair of long legs slid either side of me, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and his chin rested on the shoulder I didn't have the hotel phone pinned to. It didn't take much encouragement from him to have me cuddling back against his warm skin. “Room 208 – yeah. Fifteen minutes? That's fine, thank you,” I rang off and set the phone back in its cradle. Never had I been so disappointed in a quick turnaround from room service.

“You didn't have to buy me anything, you know.”

“On the contrary, I am very much enjoying being thanked. If I'd known you were coming last night I'd have given you something then.”

“If we had a little longer, I'd thank you properly,” he murmured as he kissed my throat and slid his warm palms down my belly. Even though we'd only just fucked I wondered if it was too soon for more. “You've changed.”

I sighed, leaning against him and closing my eyes. “I don't like that word.”

“Hm?”

“Heard it a lot. Especially after the accident. 'You've changed, you're not the Squall we knew', that kind of thing,” I waved my hand dismissively.

Seifer caught the hand I'd waved and bought it to my shoulder gently to kiss my knuckles. “I didn't say it was a bad change, just a change. Are you okay?”

“No, I want more sex and we have to wait for dinner.”

“You're pouting,” he chuckled. “Just what change didn't they like?”

I shifted just enough to see him better. So much had happened between the two of us and he was already holding me like a lover- even though he'd been so reluctant the previous night and entirely too gentle for most of the evening. “I don't know. I feel different – I forget more things and people tell me I'm more open. Someone even asked if the brain injury made me gay. It didn't. I was just... more open about liking guys too when I started going out with people after it happened.”

“Brain injury?” Seifer echoed, looking pale and alarmed. I thought he'd picked that up from our conversations but apparently not. I was saved from having to talk more about it by a knock at the door and I slipped out of his arms, offering one last kiss, to grab both complimentary robes from the closet and toss one to him.

I slipped mine on to open the door and let the room service cart be wheeled in. The waitress glanced at Seifer, gave me a knowing look and smiled. “Would you like me to serve, sir?”

“No, that will be all, thank you,” I managed to shoo her away.

Eventually, the two of us settled in front of the large window at the little table there to eat. We held hands and watched the thick flakes fall in fast flurries between the buildings, dancing in the lamp light. There was no way I'd be going home in a day or two. Poor Seifer was going to be stuck with me all over Yule, and I was going to have to deal with his questions and worries and the way he clung to me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

I hoped Seifer knew what he was letting himself in for.


End file.
